Whats in a name?

This morning my daughter came running into my bedroom and exclaimed, "when I went downstairs I had a huge Fart". My wife corrected her and stated, "toot". My daughter paused a minute and went on with her story. While I sat there and listened to this exchange I wondered what was so wrong with the word, "Fart". I remembered as a young lad being scolded for the use of the word. I must say I didn't understand it then and I surely don't understand it now.

There are a limited amount amount of other options to describe this bodily function.

• Toot
• BreakWind
• Let Air out of Your Bum
• Scuds
• Flatulent
  

None of the aforementioned synonyms sound better then "Fart". From everything that I can ascertain "Fart" does not have another meaning that could be deemed offensive. Therefore, I am making an impassioned plea to give the word, "Fart" the dignity it deserves by acknowledging it as the proper term to describe the bodily function.

From this day forth, I can only hope that young children across the land will be able to go downstairs and have a huge, "Fart" and be able to tell someone and laugh.

I want MY WWE !!!

I remember a time when I loved wrestling. It was the characters that drew me in. I loved the Boogie Woogie Man, Junk Yard Dog, Koko B Ware, The Honky Tonk Man and the Immortal Hulk Hogan. At the time when these characters dominated the business the debate raged on amongst the fans, "was wrestling real?" Most observers, who didn't live in a trailer park, knew that what they were watching was nothing more than and elaborate play. The brilliance of the hoax was the fact that the wrestlers said it was "real" the industry people said it was "real" and it was presented on T.V. as if it were a "real" sport. There was never a time that you saw the stars out of character. They had brilliant promos where they would show the host of the show going to Australia to find, Out Back Jack or going to the Uganda to find the Ugandan Giant, Kamala.

In the late 1990's the industry changed and they admitted to the public that wrestling wasn't a sport but rather "sports entertainment". Many of the gimmicks disappeared and they replaced them with people who fancied themselves as legitimate wrestlers. To be legitimate you had to be in shape, be able to execute high risk maneuvers and able to put over other wrestlers. This new breed of wrestler no longer had the great nick name or the gimmick. The new wrestlers were introduced to the audience by their own names, wrestlers like John Cena, Chris Benoit, Mick Foley and Chris Maters. These wrestlers do interviews out of character and talk openly about the industry. This new open and more "real" wrestler ruined it for me. It took away the magic and the soap opera that was wrestling.

When wrestling was “real” the characters weren’t and when wrestling was no longer “real” the characters became “real”. From my perspective I will always take an angry drill sergeant (Sgt. Slaughter), a giant from Grenoble France (Andre the Giant), two bushwackers from the outback (Bushwackers) or a barber (Brutus the Barber Beefcake) over some oiled up guys with names like you and me who wrestle well. I don’t know how this happened to my favorite soap opera but I want my, I want my, I want my WWE.

Where Are You Harold ??

When I grew up my true love was the Toronto Maple Leafs. Through the 1980's the team was awful run by an eccentric vindictive old man, Harold Ballard. At that time the Leafs seemed to have many characters like Motor City Smitty, Wendel Clark, John Kordic and Rocky Saganiuk. My point is at that time the hockey was often sub par but there was always a story around the team. It made things interesting.

The 2005/06 Maple Leafs are every bit as bad as the teams in the 80's but there is no drama. When I watch this team play they look so bland. It is hard to keep interested. They have a General Manager who doesn't manage (or speak like a regular human being) they have scorers who don't score, fighters who won't fight and goalies that don't make saves. This team is now run by a pension fund and does not seem to have a soul (oh yeah you only have to pay $1.99 a month to watch games on Leaf TV). It makes me sick when I hear ads for the Condos being built at Maple Leaf square. These commercials are a final reminder that the Leafs are no longer a team for the City of Toronto but a money making machine that is inept at running sport franchises.

With the current state of the Maple Leafs it makes me wonder is it better to loose and be manipulated a bland faceless corporation or is better to lose with an eccentric old man who made things a little interesting?

If a borough falls in a city and no politician hears it does it make a sound?

Yesterday the Ontario Budget came out and I heard over and over that it is a, "good news" budget. It may be if you live west of Yonge Street but once again no help for Scarborough. According to the Toronto Star the budget achieves the following:

"There's money to extend the Spadina subway line up to Highway 7, via York University. This would take the subway from the 416 area to the 905 region, a big boost that knits the region to the Toronto core.

In some ways, the provincial budget can be viewed as a big boost for the 905 area. Brampton and Mississauga get money for transit expansion. So does York Region. And the subway expansion takes the Spadina line not just to the Toronto-Vaughan border as expected, but deeper into York Region at the Vaughan Corporate Centre."

Do you notice a trend here? All the projects proposed are for the west end of Toronto and for the surrounding areas like Oakville, Milton, Brampton etc. My question is, what about Scarborough?

Lets look at some facts the old city of Toronto has 5 or 6 community health clinics. Scarborough has one (1). Old City of Toronto has 4 or 5 police stations and Scarborough has two (2). These examples can go on and on. In fact, this past year the United Way identified "at risk" neighbourhoods and the majority were in the Scarborough area.

Now lets look at transit in the Scarborough area. The subway line ends at Kennedy Road not even halfway through Scarborough. Moreover, the antiquated Rapid Transit (RT) line is scheduled to be decommissioned because no one makes the trains or the parts. The only proposal to replace this link is to use more buses (awesome!!). In Scarborough to access the subway system via buses is long an onerous process. When looking at road links, can you think of any highways in Scarborough (please do not say Kingston Road). Can you think of any road expansion in Scarborough?

From my perspective the rest of Toronto starts to dig itself out after the mess that was the "Meg-a-city" and Scarborough continues to be left behind. For what ever reason Scarborough politicians are either incompetent or do not have the political capital to move the needs of Scarborough forward.

Bottom line the politicians often deal where the money is and by expanding services to pander to Milton, Oakville, York Region is politically astute as these areas are vote rich. The areas of Scarborough, Pickering/Ajax and Whitby are ignored once again.

Scarborough continues to deteriorate and is becoming more and more isolated. The result of this is poverty gangs and guns. In Scarborough the only reason there are drive by shootings is because it would take way to long using the TTC.

Corporate Volunterism

What is more rock n' roll than the song "American Idiot" by Green Day? Not much in my estimation. Unfortunately I believe that new corporate anthem should be called "Corporate Idiot". Maybe someone like Kelly Clarkson or N'sync can sing this new corporate anthem. If this song was made I think the lyrics would go something like this:

I got a job working for the bank
I got a job working for the bank
The CEO is who I thank
They asked me to work 8 hours, I work way more
A work week is 40 hours I work 74
Everyone does it, it is how I will get ahead
I will be manager of corporate affairs before I am dead

I got a job working for the bank
I got a job working for the bank
The CEO is who I thank

74 x 74x74 I will work them all
Start in the branch and then move down the hall
This is the real world don't you see
Here comes a new recruit and he is just like me

My point being that when I sit around and listen to people who work in the corporate sector they all seem so excited and proud that they work 60 hours weeks. They all explain that they put in copious amounts of overtime (and don't charge the company) because it shows initiative and it is a good way to move up the corporate ladder. Young men and women everywhere proud to work 10-12 hour days under the guise that they will move ahead.

From my perspective I think corporate Canada has pulled a brilliant heist as they have convinced many people to work copious amounts of volunteer hours (for billion dollar corporations) with the carrot being that they will move ahead. I think then next logical step is to get their employees to donate to the company through payroll contributions. Is this CIBC or the United Way???

Interest Rate increases that I just don't get!!

Maybe I have my head up my ass and I know that I am not an economist by any means but I don't understand the interest rate. My cursory understanding is if people start to spend at a higher rate this will cause demand (for products) to increase and as a result businesses raise prices (and then you have inflation). To combat this the Bank of Canada increases interest rates to limit the amount of disposable income available to spend therefore increasing supply and lowering costs.

From my experience I do not see that people from my peer group have an abundance of disposable income. I am a married father of two and the costs are staggering. For example, if you consider that daycare costs the same amount as your monthly mortgage payments then one can see how cash strapped many families are. With so little disposable income I don't see where inflation is being derived from?

That being said in our world today government, utilities, banks and insurance companies are the industries that are all taking their pound of flesh from the middle and lower middle class people of society. There increased costs are not based solely on an increase in demand. These industries are either monopolies or necessities for society. Every time you turn around we are told that they have to increase insurance rates to cover 9/11 or that gas rates have to rise because of a potential storm (then it takes triple the time for rates to fall when the storm does not impact supply) or the banks have to raise convenience fees (even thou they become less convenient) or electricity prices have to rise because the government mismanages and then privatizes the utility. All the aforementioned businesses keep raising prices (causing inflationary pressure) and reaping enormous profits.

I guess the questions that I have are, by raising interest rates will it stop people from spending money on necessities or government imposed businesses? Is this not just another punishment to the middle class? Wouldn't government regulation (i.e. public insurance) achieve the same results with a lot less damage to families (closing of small business, personal bankruptcies, job loss)?

First Musing

There was a time I enjoyed the comfort of a blue or beige brief (underwear). Alas, due to style changes and an increased waistline those days are long gone. That being said I often wondered about the logic of creating an undergarment with a penis escape hatch that is harder to navigate than an Ikea manual. I am of the firm belief (no pun intended) that the only reason that briefs have the escape hatch is, without it they would be panties.